i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
