Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
