Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
