Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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