no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
