We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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