Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
