make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
