Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
