it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize