I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just high enough for therapy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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