You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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