im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
