in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
