I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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