Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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