so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
