Dual....:-)
it hurts more in the daytime
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
