Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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