If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
