recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
