don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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