god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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