It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
