Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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