Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize