So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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