I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
