ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize