And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize