sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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