he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
