Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
