At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
