She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
