why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm too high and old for this...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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