on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize