I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
