Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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