So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
