So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
