yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
