you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What a dumb baby whore.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
