Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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