Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
