I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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