so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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