My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
