the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize