Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
