i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
