Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
