I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
