I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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