I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
