He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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