dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
