Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
