I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
