So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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