so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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