escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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