I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
