dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
