Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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