Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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