the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
