Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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