Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
