can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
