I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
